Player Interview 2: Fred Pearce

Player profile:
Name: Fred Pearce
Nickname: Fred the Head
Age: 32
Place of Birth: Kent
Nationality: English
Profession: Fireman
How recruited: Brockley Massiv/Duress
Special Move: Triple Salchow Piledrive Dodge

Hi Fred. Congratulations, you're part of the Awful Dodger's first competitive squad. What does this mean to you? What do you think you can add to the team?
It is a huge honour to be asked to play. In terms of adding to the team, I really think that my pasty white legs combined with fluorescent lighting could be a real distraction for the opposition.

You witnessed the awesome power of 'Dangerous' Brain Dimitriew at the taster sessions. How will his return to Canada affect the team and should we be recruiting more Canucks to improve our chances of success?
Brian Damage was a bit special. A player like him comes around once a generation. However the Awful Dodgers are not built around big name international signings. We will miss his throwing arm, unlike that poor woman in the 'taster' session. I didn't think she'd get up. Maybe it's for the best, I'm sure the Ottawa Dodgeball Courts will soon have an A+E department built in.
Some schools are famous for providing captains of industry, others for their contributaions to the arts. Having attended the same school as the captain of the Awful Dodgers what qualities did Tunbridge Wells Grammar School for Boys install in a young Steven that will hopefully make him an all-time-great Dodgeball Captain?
Steven has qualities that normal people just don't have. I think I'd better leave it there.

Fred.....it's time for the Awful Dodgers awfully dodgy questions.

What’s the dodgiest thing you’ve ever eaten?
Its hard to say but maybe I shouldn't have eaten the shellfish when I was flying that plane.

What’s the dodgiest film you’ve ever seen?
Definitely the Runaway Bride. It really was a poor man's Pretty Women.

Who is  the dodgiest person you know and why?
Have you met The Awful Dodgers ex NFL quarterback John Murray?

The Artful Dodger was a famous pickpocket. What was the last thing you stole? (be honest, within reason!)
Naturally, I have never stolen anything. I was tempted by the ashtrays that said 'Stolen from Virgin Cinemas' on the bottom. I wasn't sure if it was a clever marketing ploy.

On a scale of 1-10. (1 being ‘not at all’, 10 being ‘to the extreme’) How dodgy are you?
9.5