That's our motto "Get your knees up, Dodge in time".......in Latin. Classy!
Welcome to the new 21st century sensation that is Dodgeball.
The ‘Dodgers’ are a half ill-thought out, semi-aspirational, half alcohol-induced, shambles of amateur chancers based around a sport that no-one really is sure actually exists.
The Artful Dodger’s values
The Dodgers have been formed around the olden day values of the Corinthian Spirit.
“'Corinthian Spirit' is the spirit of 'gentlemanly' amateurishness (in its true sense: of playing for love, not profit)” Wikiwhat 2010.Essentially…if you fancy a drink after a hard hour of Dodgeball. This is for you. If you get overly upset by defeat…please look elsewhere.
How fit do I have to be to play Dodgeball?
Hacking consumption is no barrier to entry to the AD.
We play in the Dodgeball UK Shoreditch Premier League (of Shoreditch).
The Awful Dodgers play in the Premier League.
The Really Awful Dodgers play in the Average Joes League.
Held at Shoreditch Power League, 384 Old Street, The City, City of London EC1V 9LT
It should cost you £8-9 every time you turn up. It depends on numbers.
How much Dodgeball am I getting for £8-9?
A minimum of 2 games out of 3 each evening….Excess money raised through match fess will be put towards kit/funds towards an end of season awards evening.
• In each game we have to start with a team of 6 (including at least one female)
I’m looking to take 8-9 players a week (minimum 3 girls) to guard against last minute drop-outs. This would guarantee you 2 games each.
• The prime selection policy is: First come first served. You snooze. You lose.
• If we get over 9 players those on a wait list will get priority for the next week.
• I’m not too proud to drop myself if it means everyone, who wants to play, plays.
• No-shows will be dealt with ruthlessly
My Dodgeball Credentials….
None whatsoever….I will be posting the rules of Dodgeball on the team’s ‘blog’ before our first fixture in the hope that someone will read them.
Turn up for 2-3 evenings out of 7 over a 3 month period and I will be happy.
To make this venture logistically and financially viable I need a squad of between 10-15 people.
Strategy 1: Word of Mouth – That's you and your big gob. Help me out!
Strategy 2: Press-ganging
– assorted friends of Steve who he has to drag to Dodgeball.
Strategy3: Friends of members: Know someone who is interested and likes to hang out socially? They are welcome.
Strategy 4: Advertising in local pubs in Brockley.. I haven’t done this yet, but it would be good to keep the squad Brockley. (Please ignore my housemate Nick’s response to this policy of: “I’d like to see the barmaid at the Orchard in Lycra”…......we won’t be wearing Lycra.)
Strategy 5. The Gumtree….a useful source for introducing new blood to the squad and finding people that are genuinely interested.
Strategy 6: Now available on Twitter....yes that's right we've actually picked up a few players from @TheAwfulDodgers
- Awful Dodgers T-shirts (although they are now in short supply as everyone seems to love them so much they keep taking them home). Bring uour own sports - white t-shirt to avoid potential topless dodgeball just in case. T-shirts are available for £10 approx if you want your own.
- A flat cap.
- A fetching neck scarf.
I’d ask you to provide:
• Black/grey shorts (preferably ragged)
• Trainers (not very Victorian, but a 21st century sporting necessity).
Please feel free to accessorise
• Feel free to write “the Idiot’s Guide to Dodgeball”. There might be some money in it.
• Dodgeball: T True Underdog Story
• Karate Kid (The Original, when it was actually Karate)
• The Rocky Series
• The Goonies
• Any film that has a montage.
• Mary Poppins
• The Muppet’s Christmas Carol
• Jump Around – House of Pain
• Jump – Kriss Kross
• Step in Time – Mary Poppins
• Consider yourself – The cast of Oliver!
• You’re the Best – Joe Eposito
I think that’s everything. Please make use of the new ‘Awful Dodger’ e-mail address if you have any questions.
I leave you with a quote from ‘Photoshopper –in-general’, Jamie Moss, after I told him our theme was ‘Victorian grime’. Enjoy!
“Yeah I also love a bit of Victorian grime. The other day I saw Dizzee Rascal in an MC battle with Bob Cratchit at 'Party in the Poorhouse'. Tinchy Stryder asked for more and ended up running with a criminal gang of young pickpocketers.”
Here is a video of what Dodgeball is all about.
Dave Chandler's amazing Dodgeball promo.