Thursday, 29 September 2011

Dodge Idol - Replacement for Vi needed.

Vi played her last game of Dodgeball for the Awful Dodgers on Wednesday before her adventures in China and a return to her native Germany. We're all very sad.

Will she set up her own team in Dusseldorf and host 'The Awful Dodgers' first European tour?

Anyway...... With Kyla's attendance limited by school meetings and a low turn out by our ladies last week we're in the market for a new star girl to line up alongside Alex, Kyla and Karen. .

We've made a list of all the qualities needed to replace Vi.
Click Here
Oh...and owning a laser throwing arm, a competitive spirit and the desire to drink beer in between games  is also actively encouraged.

If you know someone who fits the bill put them in contact with:
or call Steve on: 07985 644801

The Team say goodbye to Vi....Sob;-(

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Lookalikes 2

You thought last week's lookalike was terrible?

Well how about this double whammy?

Last week Dave Jackson derided me for the quality of last weeks effort.
Andy Davies then volunteered a lookalike for Dave.

Naturally I came up with a combination of the two and used it as an opportiunity to promote our next social.

David Jackson

Andy Davies

Join Us:

Monday, 26 September 2011

Team for Wednesday 28th September - Bar Kick 1830

Hi guys,

After our amazing results last week will we continue our usual pattern of form? If so that usually involves us crashing to 6 miserable defeats the next week.

The Really Awful Dodgers are up first this week and have a double header versus a team yet to win a game! Easy 6 points? Yes?

Let us know if being there for a 7pm start might be a problem.

The Really Awful Dodgers (Start 1900):
  1. Richard Banks (debut)
  2. David Chandler
  3. Andrew Davies
  4. Alastair Hegarty
  5. Simon Obee
  6. Rachael Morris
  7. Helen Potter (debut)
  8. TBC Girl
  9. TBC Girl/Guy
v Cojones
v Honey Badgers
v Honey Badgers

Scouting Report on The Honey Badgers
-Its nice to see Jeff Turner is getting some voiceover work!

The Awful Dodgers (Start 2000)
  1. Steven Barrett
  2. Alexndra Bono
  3. Sean Broughton
  4. Will Cheverton
  5. Richard Djaelani
  6. Vi Luu
  7. John Murray
  8. Fred Pearce
  9. Girl TBC
v Schoolgirls and Ball-girls
v Ball Out War
v Busted Balls

I might have to change the teams around if we bring in a few more players. The Really Awful Dodgers need help especially.

Monday, 19 September 2011

Team for Wednesday: The Really Awful Dodgers are BACK!!!!

That's right. Due to a last minute recruitment campaign in which I felt like Arsene Wenger on transfer deadline day enough interest was garnered from new players to save 'The Really Awful Dodgers'. Hooray!!!

Plenty of new faces this week and I've shown an unprecedented amount of organisation in booking a table at Bar Kick on Wednesday for the 1830 meet-up. Its in the name of 'The Awful Dodgers'!!!!

Crucial for team bonding!!

Anyway. Here are the details:

Could everyone try and make the 1830 meet-up time so that the new players can learn the rules.

The Awful Dodgers kick-off proceedings first so please don't be late.

The Really Awful Dodgers start later.

The teams are:

The Awful Dodgers (1900 start) :

v School Girls and Ball Girls
(New team? - although some one told me the Chinamen were back and I can't see their name in the league table)
v FSU Dodgeball (formally Ball Out War -last year's champions)
v Jammie D's - The original (Let's make it a white wash!!)
  1. Steven Barrett
  2. Alexandra Bono
  3. Sean Broughton (debut)
  4. Will Cheverton
  5. Richard Djaelani
  6. Karen Leite
  7. Vi Luu
  8. John Murray
  9. Tom Stubbs
The Really Awful Dodgers (2020 start)

v The Arful Dodgers
(We HAVE to beat these rip-off merchants, although they are already top of the league)
v The Honey Badgers (first fixtures)
v JustDodging ( - (I know its all for charity but let's smash them!)

  1. Andrew Davies
  2. Leila Dukes (debut)
  3. Michael Fernandez (debut)
  4. Jillian Hawker (debut)
  5. Alastair Hegarty (debut)
  6. David Jackson
  7. Simon Obee (debut)
  8. Rachael Morris
  9. Kyla Winter
Kit: Where have all the t-shirts gone? Please bring your own kit to avoid embarrassment. We all remember when Dave Chandler left the kit at home!!! White T-shirts a preference.

Good luck everyone. Give me a call if you can't make it as we have reserves!!!

That's every hip club....... a WAITING LIST!!!!!!!!
Although our door policy isn't that fussy.

Brockley is cooler than Shoreditch...Dodgers start season with 5 points.

Match Report: 14th September 2012

I am opening this match report with the contents of an e-mail from one of our star players who selflessly gave up his place in the team when it looked like we were only going to be fielding one team this season and spaces were at a premium to keen players:

Heart warming stuff from Raphi!
Hello Steve

I am happy to take a break this week.

I wish you all the best for the game. Just play like in the semi-final last season. You guys were amazing.

Looking forward to see you guys. Greets to all. Please transmit this message.

Did I pass this message on.....errrr, no....the reason being is that I didn’t want my player’s to be choked up with emotion on the court with the tears welling in their eyes blurring their vision of the balls hurtling towards them.

In fact..I might have even told some of the player’s that Raphael had left us and they’d better buck up their idea’s and raise their game if we are to win anything this season.....OK. I can’t remember if I actually did but I certainly thought about it.

So what was the outcome of our first outing in Shoreditch? Were we the hippest kids on court or was success proving to be on the skinny side?
This week’s biggest bonus was the addition of the ‘pre-match team talk’ in Bar Kick which by happy coincidence coincided with their Happy Hour! Sagres £2 a bottle.

On arrival at Old Street Power League it became clear that the poor bar maid (or should that be fridge attendant) was in for a busier night than she was used to. The facilities at our new home might not be as spacious as those at London Bridge, but the courts are just as designed for action the handy addition of the roof netting helped to avoid any of those horrible looping throws, that some of us are so fond of (Rachael Morris!) reaching the welcoming hands of the opposition.
This week we welcomed one new player, Karen Leite, who quickly slotted into the team as if she had been playing dodgeball all of her life. Karen displayed that her catching skills acquired in a career of football goalkeeping would prove vital in surprising a few of the more cowardly male opposition who decided to target the girls....ha, ha, ha.
The fixture list had a familiar ring to it:
Match 1: v Ball Busters
With the all powerful Gacy in their squad it is always a tough task to take on and beat the Ball Busters, especially without his arch nemesis Raphael in our squad. However we have beaten them before and we were hoping to catch them cold on the first day of the season.
The first set went the way of the form book with the Awful Dodgers offering limited resistance. It looked as if we were in for another long hard season.
However, a spirited fight back in the 2nd set saw the scores level with Alexandra Bono once again taking a catch that would prove to turn the tide in our favour and bring the scores level.
The 3rd Set was keenly fought as well but unfortunately Vi was left alone on court to fight a heroic yet fruitless battle with the opposition.
Result: Lost 1-2 (1st point of the season)
Match 2: v Busted Balls
I am a hopeless match reported. I know the score of this one but I can’t remember if we won the first or 2nd set?! Any ideas? I am the Chris Kamara of Dodgeball reporting.
I vaguely remember Karen Leite stunning them with a great chance and the opposition cottoning on with regards to countering my new kneeling tactic. Anyway another defeat ensued but another bonus point was secured.
Result: Lost 1-2
Match 3: v Jammie D’s – The Original
Our matched with the Jammie Dodger’s always come with a bit of history and no small amount of friendly rivalry.
We all remember fondly the days when a match against the Jammie Dodgers = a guaranteed win.
Then they formed 3 teams, got very good and started beating us on a regular basis.
However in splitting their teams between the 2 venues this season the 6 players that turned up looked a lot more like their original version. That was until they unveiled their ringer to much protest from our team. GACY....bloody GACY.....grrrrrr. I wasn’t happy and we predictably lost the first set.
It looked like we were going to finish the evening with one of our traditional win free result sheets. However, slightly embarrassed by the boos and catcalling, Gacy did the honourable thing and stood down for the remainder of the match returning to his native team.
The Jammie D’s has made the Awful Dodgers angry and a new steely determination could be seen in the eyes of the team. They sensed blood.

The Jammie D’s without their ringer quickly crumbled like the eponymous biscuit after being sat on during the bus home from the supermarket. This despite myself throwing a really pathetic catch at one of their girls before being saved by some quick thinking from David Jackson who rapidly dismissed the oncoming player before he even had the chance to pick up a ball! 

Justice had been done. The Jammie Dodger’s had only gained one point from their skulduggery and we had our first point of the season.
History was also made in that David Jackson and Rachael Morris featured in their first ever Dodgeball UK rules victory! Well done to the 2 of you.
Result: Won 2-1
I’m glad(?) to report that there were no major arguments or temper tantrums this week. I was a good boy. I put it down to the dulled acoustics of the new venue. It’s a bit weird at first after the cavernous echoes of T47. Like playing Dodgeball in a there’s an idea!
The best result of the night was the saving of the Really Awful Dodgers who will play their first fixtures of the season on Wednesday. Now that Dave J and Rachael have a taste for victory who knows what they can achieve!!!!

Awful Dodger Lookalikes

Hi team,

Now that we seems half of London's population has featured for our team at some point its time to exploit the squad for comedy value. Feel free to send in your own suggestions. Please play nice.

First up: It's my housemate and part-time Dodgeball player David Chandler.

I think you'll all agree that David isn't the only person in the squad with a drink problem.

Click Dave's name below to see the incident that led to  Dave to check into rehab.

David Chandler

Monday, 12 September 2011

Team News Season 4: Week 1: Wednesday 14th September 1830

Hi kids,

Welcome to our merged team. Hopefully for one season only!

Apologies for confusing everyone with the day of the week. Leaving London Bridge on a Thursday is like splitting with your first love - I obviously can't let go!!

I'm looking forward to playing alongside some new (in a being on the same team sense) faces:

As its a new venue here are the details for week 1:

Our games start a bit later than originally thought which is great as we can meet early for the all important pre-match team talk in:

Bar Kick: 1830
Bar Kick - Website
Directions - Bar Kick

Its 2 for 1 Happy Hour on selected drinks until 7pm.

After a beer or 2 we will move onto the new venue:
Shoreditch Power League
 (NOT to be confused with London City Power League near the Golf Driving Range)
Shoreditch Power League
384 Old Street, The City, City of London EC1V 9LT

I'll switch venues at 7pm so that Karen can learn the rules before she makes her debut!
I expect the rest of you to follow in 15 minutes!!

The Team is: Match Fee: £8 if you all make it! £9 if we don't have 9 players,
  • Steven Barrett
  • Alexandra Bono
  • Richard Djaelani
  • David Jackson
  • Vi Luu
  • Karen Leite (debut)
  • Rachael Morris
  • John Murray
  • Tom Stubbs
The team was selected based on 1st come first served amongst those who registered.
Thanks to those who let me know they couldn't play. I'll have to juggle the squad this season.

The fixture list has a familiar look to it (but it won't for the rest of the season):
v Ball Busters
v Busted Balls
v Jamie D's - The Original (Hopefully as bad as they were originally!)

Tough week - We could have done with Rafa!!

Excuse of the Week:
Shaun Dooley: "Can't Wednesday mate as I fly to Benidorm on Thursday to film.....Benidorm!" Bros once sang....When will I be famous?