Sorry to sound grave, but its time to take sport seriously.
With the current furore engulfing the 'tea, scones and the odd cheeky smoke when you're waiting to bat' world of rain drenched cricket. I think that, with the upcoming Dodgeball season upon us, it is an appropriate time to outline 'The Awful Dodgers' policy on bookmakers, spread betting and match fixing.
THE AWFUL DODGERS DO NOT CONDONE ANY SUCH PRACTICES.
Anyone found guilty of nefarious dealings will be dealt with in the strictest and most brutal methods available to us under British law.
It follows that: if a shady businessman or 'fake sheikh' (Mark, I've got my eye on you) offers anyone £150K to either, 'deliberately miss', 'drop a catch' 'walk into a ball' or 'step out of the court', I urge you to remember what the kids from Grange Hill told you. JUST SAY NO!
That's pretty conclusive I think.
However, should said businessman prove to be particularly persistent, the Dodger's venue of choice for clandestine meetings is the pool room at the Wickham Arms, Brockley. Please ensure that all proceedings are filmed in even smudgier footage than can be produced by the camera on my cheap 'free-with-the contract' mobile phone. Otherwise the News of the World won't run with it.
Flat Caps don't come cheap these days.
I hope this clears everything up.
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| Don't talk to this man........about anything! |
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