"Walkover and a Winter Wonder catch!"

"Dodgeball's fly, are you dipping?
On the court, don't be tripping,
A beautiful sight,
We're happy tonight,
Watching a 'Winter' Wonder catch"

On announcement of the Awful Dodger's final team line-up for the last group fixture's of the season, Dodgeball pundits all over the country raised eyebrows and questioned the chances of our success in any of the evening's fixtures.

Noting that the Dodger's usually favour the muscular presence of J.Blackmore (injury) J Murray (work commitments) and the precision of T.Cuthbert (gig) and L.Robin (work) and the tactical genius of J.Coggles (gig) the 'experts' opinions seemed valid. The less said about Rob's excuse (needed for the work football team) the better!

What could not be denied of the squad tonight was that they had heart, enthusiasm, girl power and commitment ...and in my case, a very bruised knee.

The team for Thursday was:
A. Bono, V.Luu, K.Winter, S.Barrett, E.Pearce and our regular ringer and CBBC presenter J.Turner (get yourself  and any kids down to the Vaudville Theatre, London this chrimbo http://www.pottedpanto.com/)

Match 1: v Dick 'n' Balls

The team were pumped and ready to 'suck it to' Dick 'n' Balls. The warm up even included me unexpectedly getting a lot of head(shots). However it seemed apparent that D'n'B had put in limp no-show. We'd won by default!!! However, after a friendly against Auschweichen Kugel, it became clear that it wasn't time for any 'premature celebration'. We had a real game to win.

Result: Awful Dodgers 2 Dick 'n' Balls 0 (Walkover)

The 'victory; against DnB was a welcome bonus as it was a game we would have probably struggled to win with even our strongest line-up. Having already qualified for finals night it appeared they were above turning out against the so-called lower lights of the league. Ausweichen Kugel on the other hand proved to us that their 2 wins over us were no fluke by beating us a 3rd time. The friendly was most notable for the appearance on the opposition of the 'Awful Dodgers' top transfer target Karen Jeff who will hopefully be appearing for us next season to replace Vi.
Karen: We're not usually that bad!!!

Match 2:  v Can't Dodge This

Lying 2nd bottom of the league, but having achieved something we'd failed to do in beating the Jammie Dodger's twice, 'Can't Dodge This 'weren't to be underestimated one bit.

This assumption was to be proved worryingly accurate as they quickly went 1-0 having clearly learnt some valuable lessons from their first Dodgeball season. It was now time for the Awful Dodgers to show some mettle. The 2nd set proved to be hardly fought and probably one of the most exciting games of Dodgeball the Awful Dodgers had played.

When you're on court its always hard to see what other people are achieving, so forgive me in glorying in my application of one of Dodgeball's finest underhand tactics, 'hiding a ball behind your back'. Having seen Vi last week become the first Dodger to pioneer this move last week with the 'red ball' being the owner of a significantly larger arse I decided to try this move out with a full size ball. The result? This treat worked a treat as I eliminated CDT's best player who briefly complained that I'd "cheated" before realising that it was perfectly within the rules.
Game on and having been eliminated myself shortly afterwards by a stinging nut shot I had a grandstand seat to bear witness to one of the finest moments of the A.Dodger's first season.
The final seconds were ticking away and the dosger's were down by one when much to the team's horror Vi took a potentially game losing hit. Crikey!
As the ball looped towards the flow and the witnessing Dodger's realised they were slumping to a season ending defeat, in a fraction of a second, it became clear that there was still hope. The cry went up of "Catch It".

In year's to come when they make 'The Awful Dodger's: The Movie', Kyla Winter's role will probably be played by Keira Knightly's prettier younger sister and even then, this scene will be be filmed using a stunt woman. It will also be in High Definition, 3D Slow Motion and possibly even smellivison.

However I saw it in real time and it was very impressive! Kyla launched herself forward to grab the ball milliseconds before it hit the ground. The clock hit zero and the Awful Dodger's were back in the game!

The deciding set was another entertaining affair and through  mixed of euphoria and discipline the AD's saw of a slightly dispirited CDT to achieve a vital 100% record for the evening.

Well done everyone!

Awful Dodgers 2 Can't Dodge This 1