This week's match reports takes a break away from the finer details of any blow-by-blow action and instead turns his sights towards our international fan clubs!.
Why, I hear you ask? Has Steve gone mad?.....that happened ages ago.
Whilst updating the blog I took sometime out to look at the viewing stats for people keeping track of our adventures. The origin of audience figures were quite revealing.
Ranked 1-5
- The UK – I’m assuming most of the viewers are London based.
- U.S.A. – We seem to have a ‘special relationship’ with our friends across the pond. Hardly surprising due to the fact a lot of these viewers are probably searching for the film Dodgeball and spend most of their day on the internet whilst stuffing their faces with donuts.
- Canada – A far more fit and healthy nation and expected due to the number of Canadians who have represented us over the last year.
- New Zealand – Again, no shock. It’s nice to know that my friends from my travels are eagerly keeping an eye on our progress.
- Guadaloupe - ………….GUADALOUPE……WTF! I’d struggle to point it out on a map. Can anyone shed any light on why we’re so big in the French colony of Guadaloupe???!!!
We here at Awful Dodger’s HQ really appreciate every single one of our fans and we feel that it is very important to not become detached from our fan base unlike mainly of the ‘big-time charlies’ who ply their trades in other sporting leagues such as the Barclays English Premier League for starters.
Therefore please find below some facts about Guadaloupe that might help you if you start getting fan mail (or “french-letters”) sent to you from the Caribbean.
- Guadaloupe is a department of France and therefore part of the European Union. It’s currency is the Euro.
- In 1493 Christopher Coulmbus is credited with discovering the pineapple on the island (despite the fact the fruit had long been grown in South America) – so therefore without Guadaloupe it could be argued that the song “Agadoo” may have never existed.
- Famous people of Guadalopean descent include: Footballers: Thierry Henry, William Gallas, Lilian Thuram and Everton’s own permanently injured striker Louis Saha – judging by this list be warned when dealing with the new fans. They can be prone to temper-tantrums.
- Whilst not in the Guadeloupean style Cayerine Quinol, aka Katrin, is known worldwide as the lip synching icon of the piano-house trio Black Box, who burst on to the Music Scene in the late 80s with songs such as' Ride on Time'. Katrin is, however, a trained singer and she went on to release her own work.
Anyway. That’s enough copy and pasting from Wikipedia. I hope its been enlightening.
Back to the action.
This week the Really Awful Dodgers welcomed plenty of new players to the ranks with debuts for Alastair Hegarty, Jillian Hawker, Mitch Fernandez, Simon Obee, Leila Dukes. It was fair to say they were a totally new.
Thrown into the deep end was another debutant Sean Broughton who made his debut for The Awful Dodgers who were up first.
The Awful Dodger’s
Following last weeks encouraging results, that put us in mid-table, this week was going to determine if we were going to compete for a play-off place of be stuck in yet another relegation battle. It was important that we got off to a good start against the league new-comers:
v School Girls and Ball Girls
It wasn’t a great start to the match against this rookie team and we quickly found ourselves depleted in the first set. However, it became apparent with all new teams that some of them hadn’t completely read the rules! A couple of them threw their wickets away going for silly catches and as soon as the numbers were evened up it wasn’t long before we overpowered them. The 2nd set was much more of a formality with experience telling as we swept them aside. Sean Broughton proved that he was worthy of promotion straight into the first team by sealing the 2nd set with cricketer's throw that would have run out even the swiftest of batsmen such was its pace and accuracy.
It was good to get this fixture out of the way whilst this team are still green as they clearly have a few dangerous players who will develop over the season and start beating the bigger teams.
It was good to get this fixture out of the way whilst this team are still green as they clearly have a few dangerous players who will develop over the season and start beating the bigger teams.
Won 2-0
v Ball Out War
Our first big test of the evening against last year’s champions. A team we lost to twice last season. The entire match was keenly fought and could have gone either way. However..Ball out War’s confusion with how to deal with my new tactic of kneeling down and drawing fire meant that we were able to pin their top throwers to the back of the court and make it easier to catch them. This worked a treat with Alex Bono once again making a game turning catch. Before we knew it we’d beaten them! Some shameless targeting of one of their ‘less mobile’ players in the dying seconds of one of the games ensured victory. She wasn’t impressed and stormed off the pitch refusing to shake hands. To be fair the rest of their team took defeat a lot more graciously.
Won 2-0
v Jammie Dodger’s – The Original
After last week’s easy victory against a weakened side it became clear that this week wasn’t going to be as easy. A couple of star players from their previous more successful incarnation as the Jammie Dodger Annihilators were in the starting team and to be feared.
Rightly so. We were wiped off the court pretty comprehensively. The 2nd set saw some great fighting spirit and we drew level. I then took the decision to keep the subs from the 2nd set on the bench – including myself and my loyalty was rewarded. The decider swung too and through with some big hitting from their star player ‘Camel Toe’ leading the Jammie D’s through to victory. That was until a sensational last few seconds where the numbers where swung by a couple of key hits and a great late catch by Richard Djaelani. (Although after discussions in the bar afterwards with the opposition we’re not entirely sure how much he know about it!)
Player of the Week: Richard Djaelani
Player of the Week: Richard Djaelani
The Really Awful Dodgers
v Team Merdeboite
With virtually a new line-up the first match of the season for The Really Awful Dodgers was always going to be difficult. Would they be inspired or intimidated by success of their contemporaries?
The inaugural performance proved to be brief but considering the majority of the team had only just met in Bar Kick 2 hours previously it was no surprise they were overpowered by a team that had at least attended a taster session together (although that didn't even help last season's intake!)
The first set was up for grabs and had it not been for a couple of pieces of naivety in the closing moments the result could have been so much different. This match will be remembered most notably by the discovery that we now had a 'club physio' in the squad (an unpaid position - before you get any ideas Sean!)
A mix-up between uni mates Dave J and Andy D left the former with a busted thumb that was to rule him out of the remaining games.
Fortunately, on-site amputation was avoided by the revelation that Sean was a qualified physiotherapist.
We're almost like a proper sports' team now! All we need now is a qualified otolaryngologist to help solve the ongoing drama of Dave Chandler's ear-ache....which is giving me ear-ache! Oh please......anyone???!!!
Lost 2-0
V JustDodging (justgiving.com)
Reeling from the loss of their most experienced and joint most successful player (Dave Jackson - One win ever!). The Really Awful Dodgers lined up for the second game with even lower expectations. That was until they saw the opposition team.
Why not recreate the magic of The Really Awful Dodger's first ever win by popping down to your local primary school, picking out the smallest, girliest girls, lining then up against a wall and then throwing coke cans at them until they cry!
Won 2-0!!!!!!!!!!!!!
v The Artful Dodgers
Drunk on the taste of victory (and Carlsberg and San Miguel) normal services were resumed against a team that I sorely wanted to see put in their place. 'The Artful Dodgers' - how very dare they.
Any sign of flat caps and a second team called The Really Artful Dodgers and I will be instructing the team's lawyers. Do we have any lawyers in the squad??
Our pocket's weren't so much picked during this match. It was more of a mugging in broad daylight with all of our pocket money stolen by the bigger boys. Oh well. Three points on the board was an instant improvement on last season.
Lost 2-0
v Team Merdeboite
With virtually a new line-up the first match of the season for The Really Awful Dodgers was always going to be difficult. Would they be inspired or intimidated by success of their contemporaries?
The inaugural performance proved to be brief but considering the majority of the team had only just met in Bar Kick 2 hours previously it was no surprise they were overpowered by a team that had at least attended a taster session together (although that didn't even help last season's intake!)
The first set was up for grabs and had it not been for a couple of pieces of naivety in the closing moments the result could have been so much different. This match will be remembered most notably by the discovery that we now had a 'club physio' in the squad (an unpaid position - before you get any ideas Sean!)
A mix-up between uni mates Dave J and Andy D left the former with a busted thumb that was to rule him out of the remaining games.
Fortunately, on-site amputation was avoided by the revelation that Sean was a qualified physiotherapist.
We're almost like a proper sports' team now! All we need now is a qualified otolaryngologist to help solve the ongoing drama of Dave Chandler's ear-ache....which is giving me ear-ache! Oh please......anyone???!!!
Lost 2-0
V JustDodging (justgiving.com)
Reeling from the loss of their most experienced and joint most successful player (Dave Jackson - One win ever!). The Really Awful Dodgers lined up for the second game with even lower expectations. That was until they saw the opposition team.
Why not recreate the magic of The Really Awful Dodger's first ever win by popping down to your local primary school, picking out the smallest, girliest girls, lining then up against a wall and then throwing coke cans at them until they cry!
Won 2-0!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 |
| The Really Awful Dodgers struggle to deal with the alien concept of VICTORY!! |
Drunk on the taste of victory (and Carlsberg and San Miguel) normal services were resumed against a team that I sorely wanted to see put in their place. 'The Artful Dodgers' - how very dare they.
Any sign of flat caps and a second team called The Really Artful Dodgers and I will be instructing the team's lawyers. Do we have any lawyers in the squad??
Our pocket's weren't so much picked during this match. It was more of a mugging in broad daylight with all of our pocket money stolen by the bigger boys. Oh well. Three points on the board was an instant improvement on last season.
Lost 2-0
Player of the week: Simon Obee
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