Brockley is cooler than Shoreditch...Dodgers start season with 5 points.

Match Report: 14^th September 2012

I am opening this match report with the contents of an e-mail from one of our star players who selflessly gave up his place in the team when it looked like we were only going to be fielding one team this season and spaces were at a premium to keen players:

Heart warming stuff from Raphi!

“Hello Steve

I am happy to take a break this week.

I wish you all the best for the game. Just play like in the semi-final last season. You guys were amazing.

Looking forward to see you guys. Greets to all. Please transmit this message.

Raphi"

Did I pass this message on.....errrr, no....the reason being is that I didn’t want my player’s to be choked up with emotion on the court with the tears welling in their eyes blurring their vision of the balls hurtling towards them.

In fact..I might have even told some of the player’s that Raphael had left us and they’d better buck up their idea’s and raise their game if we are to win anything this season.....OK. I can’t remember if I actually did but I certainly thought about it.

So what was the outcome of our first outing in Shoreditch? Were we the hippest kids on court or was success proving to be on the skinny side?

This week’s biggest bonus was the addition of the ‘pre-match team talk’ in Bar Kick which by happy coincidence coincided with their Happy Hour! Sagres £2 a bottle.

On arrival at Old Street Power League it became clear that the poor bar maid (or should that be fridge attendant) was in for a busier night than she was used to. The facilities at our new home might not be as spacious as those at London Bridge, but the courts are just as designed for action ...plus the handy addition of the roof netting helped to avoid any of those horrible looping throws, that some of us are so fond of (Rachael Morris!) reaching the welcoming hands of the opposition.

This week we welcomed one new player, Karen Leite, who quickly slotted into the team as if she had been playing dodgeball all of her life. Karen displayed that her catching skills acquired in a career of football goalkeeping would prove vital in surprising a few of the more cowardly male opposition who decided to target the girls....ha, ha, ha.

The fixture list had a familiar ring to it:

Match 1: v Ball Busters

With the all powerful Gacy in their squad it is always a tough task to take on and beat the Ball Busters, especially without his arch nemesis Raphael in our squad. However we have beaten them before and we were hoping to catch them cold on the first day of the season.
The first set went the way of the form book with the Awful Dodgers offering limited resistance. It looked as if we were in for another long hard season.

However, a spirited fight back in the 2^nd set saw the scores level with Alexandra Bono once again taking a catch that would prove to turn the tide in our favour and bring the scores level.

The 3^rd Set was keenly fought as well but unfortunately Vi was left alone on court to fight a heroic yet fruitless battle with the opposition.

Result: Lost 1-2 (1^st point of the season)

Match 2: v Busted Balls

I am a hopeless match reported. I know the score of this one but I can’t remember if we won the first or 2^nd set?! Any ideas? I am the Chris Kamara of Dodgeball reporting.

I vaguely remember Karen Leite stunning them with a great chance and the opposition cottoning on with regards to countering my new kneeling tactic. Anyway another defeat ensued but another bonus point was secured.

Result: Lost 1-2

Match 3: v Jammie D’s – The Original

Our matched with the Jammie Dodger’s always come with a bit of history and no small amount of friendly rivalry.
We all remember fondly the days when a match against the Jammie Dodgers = a guaranteed win.
Then they formed 3 teams, got very good and started beating us on a regular basis.
However in splitting their teams between the 2 venues this season the 6 players that turned up looked a lot more like their original version. That was until they unveiled their ringer to much protest from our team. GACY....bloody GACY.....grrrrrr. I wasn’t happy and we predictably lost the first set.

It looked like we were going to finish the evening with one of our traditional win free result sheets. However, slightly embarrassed by the boos and catcalling, Gacy did the honourable thing and stood down for the remainder of the match returning to his native team.

The Jammie D’s has made the Awful Dodgers angry and a new steely determination could be seen in the eyes of the team. They sensed blood.

The Jammie D’s without their ringer quickly crumbled like the eponymous biscuit after being sat on during the bus home from the supermarket. This despite myself throwing a really pathetic catch at one of their girls before being saved by some quick thinking from David Jackson who rapidly dismissed the oncoming player before he even had the chance to pick up a ball! 
Justice had been done. The Jammie Dodger’s had only gained one point from their skulduggery and we had our first point of the season.
History was also made in that David Jackson and Rachael Morris featured in their first ever Dodgeball UK rules victory! Well done to the 2 of you.

Result: Won 2-1

I’m glad(?) to report that there were no major arguments or temper tantrums this week. I was a good boy. I put it down to the dulled acoustics of the new venue. It’s a bit weird at first after the cavernous echoes of T47. Like playing Dodgeball in a church.......now there’s an idea!

The best result of the night was the saving of the Really Awful Dodgers who will play their first fixtures of the season on Wednesday. Now that Dave J and Rachael have a taste for victory who knows what they can achieve!!!!