Trash talking from our first opponents.............

If a football team are critcised in the newspapers the best way to motivate players is sometimes to plaster the walls of the dressing rooms with the offending press cuttings. Let their words motivate us to victory!

Jammie Dodger Captain Sarah has sent this message to Thursday's team.

"So, on the eve of the Awful Jammie clash I daresay the Awful Dodgers are quivering in their Primark caps.

After a week of build-up and preparation the Jammie Dodgers are fully prepared to take on the so rightfully named Awful Dodgers.

Crumbling with excitement and enthusiasm our team will no doubt take down any dodger that chooses to stand to the challenge. With a wealth of jammy tactics up our sleeves I hope the Awful Dodgers know what they're letting themselves in for...

Awful Dodgers, you're going down and it's going to be one sticky ending!"

I'm rising above it all but if you'd like to respond to Sarah Skyte's comments. Please feel free to do so in limerick form.

Final Taster Session report: 9th September 2010

The final taster session was held on a date when 'The Awful Dodgers' should have been making their league debut.

However, various circumstances coluded to cause me  to pull the date for fear of not being able to field a strong team.

These included:

• James Blackmore not knowing when his curry night was
• The Murray's not knowing when their life time friends were staying at their house.
• The Murray's being vague about their return date from Canada.
• Star player Vi Luu being on a climbing course (we can only benefit further from her new skills.)
• Tristan's commendable trip to climb Mount Kilamanjiro.
• Jamie Moss' questionable trip to the Outer Hebrides

All of the above are of course forgiven as the taster session gave us a valuable opportunity to blood Dodgeball virgin Fred Pearce and run a scouting report on our first opponents 'The Jammie Dodgers'

Scouting report on the Jammie Dodgers:
Not up to much. Easy 3 points.

The most notable event of this session was courtesy of a Mr Brian Dimitrew of Thunder Bay, Canada.
The foundations of T47 are still shaking from the aftershock of a Dodgeball hit Bri made on some poor young girl's face (please mention that it was by accident. Brian's Dodgeball lawyer).

After a period of very basic medical attention from the taster session referee (myself):

"No that's not a black eye. Its your mascara running."

we were able to establish that the poor victim was merely shocked and had not received any brain damage. She had however, as Mr D. later pointed out, sustained severe BRIAN damage.

The returm of Brian and Melody to Canada is a severe loss to the Awful Dodgers. However we approach the first fixture with renewed confidence.

Bring it on!

Taster Session Scouting report: 2/9/10

Don't tell anyone, but I've been doing some spying. So if you find this blog has been left unattended for a period of over a week please take the opportunity to check any sports holdalls or backpacks you have lying around to see if there are any of my body parts in them.

Tonight I attended the final Dodgeball UK taster session at T47 under the guise of someone who had volunteered to host a Dodgeball themed hen party on Saturday! To keep up the conceit I will be hosting the most 'talented' players for a post Dodgeball drink. I hope you all appreciate the sacrifices I'm making for the Dodgers.

Oh boy did I receive a harsh wake up call for the Dodger's title aspirations when I witnessed a couple of the teams who will be out competitors next season. The reality dawned when one player through a ball so hard against the wall of the court that it took some of the paint off.

Say this quietly, but I think there's going to be a couple of ultra competitive and super fit Australian and Kiwi based teams terrorising the Dodgeball courts. I'm scared.

The AD's are all about the fun of the game but sweet baby jesus I'd love the dodgers to knotch up a win against these guys. Take a look out for one of the league's newest characterswho will be stealthily pacing the technical areas of a Dodgeball court near you wearing a sharp suit and salon coiffured hair. It looks like Dodgeball has found its own Jose Mourinho.

I kid you not, one of the teams turned up with a coach who shouted tactics at his team and harangued the referee every time he missed a key decision. I'm already planning to get involved in a media spat with him as we play mind games at squeaky bum time.

On the plus side a team called the Jammie Dodgers has joined the league and seem even more dis-organised than us. So I think we might stay off the bottom of the league. Fingers crossed.

Steve checks out the opposition.